Thursday, January 26, 2012

For Our Colleague Laci, Best Wishes for Your Robert Burns Supper Celebration



A long-held tradition, and an informal national celebration for the Scots.

We wish him joy in his haggis, tatties and neeps, and most of all his nip of highland scotch to wash it all down.

I'm sure he will do it properly, beginning with the Selkirk Grace.
Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it;
But we hae meat, and we can eat,
And sae let the Lord be thankit. 
And the salutation for the Haggis entrance:
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.


The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dicht,
An' cut you up wi' ready slicht,
Trenching your gushing entrails bricht,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sicht,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmaist! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
"Bethankit" hums.

Is there that o're his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect scunner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him ower his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his wallie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whistle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thristle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinkin ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!

And this should serve to properly pipe in the feast, and to honor Burns.

4 comments:

  1. Holy crap, I missed the part about guns being bad, that Scotland is a violent society and it's all the Republicans fault. LOL!

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  2. We can always count on stupid comments from our anonymous commenters--This is so stupid he doesn't even want to put his tag on it.

    OMG, It's a scary world out there, Anonymous. That's why you missed it--your too busy pissing your britches.

    Whilst us cowards are out there dealing with it sans guns.

    That's why we're the cowards and you're the brave souls hunkered down with all the weaponry to protect you from the things that go bump in the night.

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  3. I guess you missed the" LOL!" Why am I not surprised you didn't get the joke. Oh, I know why. You're the same guy that couldn't figure out that the Glock 7 doesn't shoot 'bunker-buster' bullets.

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  4. Laci The Dog:

    I went to a Burns Night as the guest of a friend some years back. It was held, since this is the USofA in a chinese restarant. There was lots of single malt, tatties, neeps and FAR MORE haggis than anyone really wanted.:). I've often thought that there must be a way to make haggis taste good (otherwise, why eat the stuff) but, to date, have not had one that did.

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